Table Rules

73. Eat at a table
75. “No labels on the table.”
76. Place a flower on the table and everything will taste twice as nice

At least this is a dilemma I can avoid...

By the way? “A desk is not a table.” Pollan wastes no breath making that little caveat clear. Well, fine, MP, but is a coffee table a table?

It totally is.

I know, I know, that’s a totally semantic, flexible interpretation but... there’s something deeply depressing about eating alone at a big ol’ dinner table, isn’t there? Bouquet of flowers notwithstanding. I did it a couple of times and I just felt sad. I’m not one to go out and buy a bouquet of flowers just to spruce up my Tuesday night leftovers, but we do have a rather pretty bamboo shoot on our mantle that I moved over to the table a couple of times to see if it made my food taste better.

It didn’t. And it was still sad. So I said, you know what - forget the table rule. The whole point of the rule, in my opinion, is to appreciate and enjoy my food, and I just can’t do that while chewing silently and awkwardly alone at the dining room table. So screw it: a coffee table is a table.

I’ve actually had to get extremely comfortable with whole “upholding the spirit of the rule” thing, rather than upholding the rule itself, because you just can’t eat every meal at a table. I eat lunch at my desk every day because am I gonna waste 15 minutes of my precious lunch hour both ways leaving the building, heading down the street and finding a table at a nearby restaurant when my desk will do just fine? No, absolutely not.

Here’s how I see it: eat at a table = no distractions. Pay attention to what’s in front of you; appreciate it. Which is, as it would happen, also the intention behind the no-labels-on-the-table idea, and placing a flower there with you. Appreciate your meal. Respect it. Don’t ignore it or drown it out.

No TV. No internet.

If you bring your laptop to the table, it’s not a table. If you turn off your computer at your desk, it becomes a table. That’s how I’m choosing to play it.

I do make one notable exception to the no-distractions rule, and that is reading. Reading is allowed. Because, for me at least, reading is a quiet, thoughtful, introspective activity. And so that seems naturally in line with carrying out a quiet, thoughtful, introspective meal. And while I’m obviously in support of slowing down and appreciating what we consume, it seems to me it’s about as natural as a Cheeto to give my food my total and undivided focus. Eating is and should be an exercise in breathing, talking, laughing, thinking - to make it as silent and somber as a library is just silly.