Day 19

14. Eat only foods that will eventually rot.
15. Eat foods made from ingredients that you can picture in their raw state or growing in nature.

Rule 14 has been giving me trouble literally since day one.

On the first day of the project, when I awoke and realized woefully that there was absolutely nothing in the house that I could eat, I was hungry, grouchy, and - as usual - running late. I had a to make a snap decision. I reached for the healthiest, most natural-sounding cereal I could find - a box of Ezekiel 4:9 Golden Flax Cereal.

Ezekiel, for those of you who don't have some kind of wheat or gluten intolerance and/or have not gone completely off the health food deep end, is a brand of products inspired by the bible verse Ezekiel 4:9: "Take also unto thee wheat and barley and beans and lentils and millet and spelt and put them in one vessel and make bread of it." Which is exactly what Ezekiel has done.

If that sounds like a whole lot of things to stuff into one loaf of bread and sounds like it would be kind of gross... you're pretty much right. The cereal isn't bad, though, if you eat it with enough yogurt and fruit and honey. It's kind of like a really bland, really crunchy version of Grape Nuts. (And yes, I'm aware of how bland and crunchy Grape Nuts are in and of themselves - just think about that).

Anyway, the ingredients for Ezekiel 4:9 breakfast cereal are: sprouted wheat, filtered water, malted barley, flax seed, sprouted barely, sprouted millet, sprouted lentils, sprouted soybeans, sprouted spelt, sea salt.

In the pro's column, I understand every ingredient on this list, and they're all nourishing and whole. I can imagine them all in their raw state growing in nature. I've probably even actually kept every single one in my pantry at some point or another.

Admittedly, yes, there are more than five ingredients, but, as Pollan himself points out, there are lots of recipes that require more than five ingredients, so this rule by its very nature requires a certain degree of flexibility and common sense. And, if you don't count the water and salt, there's really only seven ingredients, so I'm going ahead and filing that one in the neutral column.

Harder to explain away, though is the fact that this cereal will not rot. It won't. This box's "best by" date is nearly a year from now, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't really hurt to eat it past then either.

Why is this important? Because, as Pollan explains, food going bad is usually a process of bacteria or fungi feeding on the nutrients in the food just like us. A longer shelf-life means less nutrients. Real food with real nutrients should generally go bad. Meat goes rancid, bread gets moldy, fruits and vegetables rot. Cereal... sits in the cupboard for years and years.

On the other hand, there are exceptions. Pollan points out honey, which has an almost eternal shelf-life. Is this an exeception? Maybe it is. The ingredients are undeniably natural and healthful. But something tells me it's not an exception. I can't explain it, but it feels processed. Ezekiel 4:9 cereal, for all its touted benefits (and yes - it touts them loudly, thus violating Rule 8 and planting another seed of doubt in my mind) is not found in nature, does not simply have a naturally long shelf-life.

In the end, I decided ya know what? It doesn't rot. It comes in a box, it was not cooked by humans (Rule 19) nor can I even imagine it being cooked by humans. So the answer is no.

Seriously - how would a human being make those little pellets in a kitchen?

But I don't know. I don't know. So I bring up the Ezekiel question because it's an example of where even these rules, designed to be so simple, so practical - Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much. - fail me.

Yes, it makes health claims, but they kind of seem like legitimate health claims. (An excerpt from the box: "We discovered that when these [ingredients] are sprouted and combined... a complete protein is created that is... 84.3% as efficient as the highest recognized source of protein.")

And yes, it has more than five ingredients, but they're all wholesome, nutritious ingredients. No strange preservatives, additives or flavorings.

And yes, it will not rot. But... maybe that's okay? Sometimes it is.

This is the point, I think, where common sense should prevail over rule-following pendantry. But where is common sense? I can't find it. To me, the Ezekiel Issue brings to harsh light just how complicated the question of food has become in our society. Our understanding of what we put in our bodies is so obscured, we can't even trust our own common sense and good judgement. The simple question of what to eat for breakfast becomes a trip down the rabbit hole, and I have no answers to give.

Day 14

10. Avoid foods that are pretending to be something they are not.
11. Avoid foods you see advertised on television.

Rule 11 has proved to be a pretty easy rule to follow. I don't think I eat anything I see advertised on television and, come to think of it, I don't really watch television (Hulu and Netflix are my poison). Still, I did a quick scan of the refrigerator just to be on the safe side. The only offenders, as far as I can remember of commercials, were cream cheese and milk.

But milk doesn't count... right? I realize this is the second post in a row where I've invoked an exception for milk but they both seem valid. Am I in total denial here? I know I love my dairy, but I don't think I'm just making excuses. Michael Pollan doesn't want me to be a vegan... does he?

Anyway, other than that, Rule 11 hasn't proved much of a sticking point. Rule 10, on the other hand, is a sad, sad rule. A good rule. A necessary rule. But a sad rule. Because with it, I must say goodbye to one of my favorite foods, one that has been my delicious companion since age thirteen. My best and most beloved discovery in my days as a vegetarian:

Morningstar Farms' veggie buffalo wings. These things are so delicious, I kept eating them long after I renounced vegetarianism; I still eat them today. And, lamentably, consider them a "healthy" alternative to regular buffalo wings. I never even considered how highly processed food has got to be to get vegetables to look, feel, and taste like meat.

Still, even without taking that into consideration, I think deep down, I knew I was fooling myself.

I should have stopped eating them up back in high school when I found out they were made with GMOs. (At least they're honest about it: says so right in their FAQs.) But I just didn't want to give them up. Like so many other times, I figured the list of ingredients I disapproved of was beyond my control. Instead, my mom and I wrote a letter to the company registering our discontent and requesting that they discontinue their use of genetically modified products and I closed the book on that.

It's funny, I used to eat these with delight in high school (and even college), taking pleasure in my moral high-ground because they were made without the needless deaths of animals. Now, when I consider the damage the mega-industrialization of food does to the people, animals and plants it touches, I think the less cruel choice is to just eat the damn chicken meat. Provided, of course, that the chickens come from small, humane farms and not huge, industrial factories.

Image found at www.veganoutreach.org

Doesn't that look yummy? Happy hump day, everybody!