I mentioned this rule briefly yesterday, but I actually have a lot of thoughts on this particular rule.
A consummate dieter since my body-loathing pre-adolescence, I'm sort of mesmerized with the idea of a rules-free existence. As early as thirteen years old, I can remember cruising the mall, watching my friends buy junk food in the food court thinking pathetically, "Nooooo!!! I'm not supposed to be eating that!"
Oh, if only I had known then that that would be the framework for the entire rest of my life. From there, I proceeded down the dark and complicated maze that is endlessly retaining and catologuing nutritional do's and don't's: your body processes refined carbs like a spoonful of sugar. Three ounces of cheese has how many calories? Easy on the sugar, easy on the fat. Unless it's healthy fat, like olive oil and avocados? No, wait, easy on those too - they may make your heart healthy, but they still make your hips wide.
I don't mean to say I was ever a crazy, crash-dieter. I pretty much stayed away from the fads or anything sounding to weird or radical. I wasn't ever looking for a quick fix, but at the same time, I didn't look the way I wanted to look and I knew I had to make a real, serious effort for that to ever change.
So, for over a decade, I'd try out new and unpleasant restrictions - this time counting calories, this time cutting back on carbs - only to get frustrated and give up. Or I'd lose a few pounds and plateau, and then get frustrated and give up. Eventually, I lost a LOT of weight, and then got frustrated and gave up. And then gained a little of it back, and got scared, and came to accept that the constant monitoring and math, the calorie-counting and the polite, "no thank you's," would simply always be a way of life for me.
But I don't like it. It makes me truly sad to think of all the times I've demurely sipped on soda water and lemon at the bar whilst the crowd around me ordered tequila shots and cheese-fries. So as much as anything else, this project is an experiment for me. Is it possible to live a life free of incessant rules about food? Ironically, despite the fact that the project is about FOOD RULES, I've been enjoying an exhilerating amount of freedom. No constant questions about every little thing I put in my mouth: Is this too many calories? Is this a good ratio of protein to carbs? How much cheese have I eaten today? None of that.
If this works - if this is a way to escape that cycle of constant counting and second-guessing that I've known since before I was a teenager - then these rules are worth it just for that.
The question, then, is how is it working? Well, it depends on how you measure it. I feel pretty good - alert, aware, and, given the fact that I'm working roughly 50 hours a week (and that's just what I'm paid for), not too tired.
On the other hand, I'm pretty sure I've gained weight. Which, in all honestly, is probably a sign that I'm "cheating," somehow. After reading this book cover to cover, I believe that if you do it right, there's no way you could gain weight, as the bulk of your diet should be nothing but fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
I suspect that relying too heavily on Rule 24, my favorite rule, at the expense of less fun rules like 54 (Eat less) and 43 (Avoid sugary and starchy food if you're concerned about your weight). Those two have already been major parts of my endless battle with rules, and, in the spirit of Rule 24, I'd like to stop thinking about them constantly.
But at the same time, I know that in certain ways my diet has changed possibly for the worse; in the absence of meat, for example, in the majority of my meals, I've been beefing up (no pun intended) on my cheese intake. I did this a lot when I was a vegetarian and fat. It makes sense to me - cheese replaces much of the protein and the flavor that's gone when meat vacates the plate. But it also adds a lot of fat, and is probably not in the spirit of Pollan's rules. Also probably not in the spirit of the rules? Eating nothing but a salad and a big potato for lunch multiple days a week because you can't find anything else in your fridge that you can eat.
What I'm trying to say here is, I'm torn. On one hand, I want to live in the spirit of the idea that if you think about what you eat and eat well then all that calorie-counting, carb-counting, fat-counting crap is not necessary. On the other, when I can feel myself gaining weight, it triggers a reflexive response to ammend the way I'm eating, and I'm honestly not sure if that's an appropriate response or not.
It's also worth noting that I might feel like I've gained weight because I'm eating all kindsa things I'm usually not "allowed." Or, I may have gained weight because I've been so busy with this project, I've hardly had a chance to work out in three weeks. I am, however, NOT stepping on a scale until the project is over, because if I confirm that I've gained weight, I won't be able to stop myself from changing my diet, and as worried as I am about the weight issue, that's not what this project is about, and I don't want it to take focus from what I'm really trying to do.
So until then, all I can do is continue to try and live the rules as honestly as possible, and hope I've done my best to uphold the spirit of all of them, even if some of them seem, at this point at least, to be quite contradictory.
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